Anonymous submission received 10/18/23
There is some confusion,
about the magnitude of revolutionary action,
by individuals who live in civilization,
and work,
and pay taxes.
These individuals talk a lot about insurrection,
and about revolution,
and destitution,
but seem in every way other than talk,
to support the capitalist systems of oppression.
So in an effort to help all those who,
by talking so much,
confuse words with action,
appraise the extent of their efforts toward their purported ends,
we introduce the ILLEGALIST NUMBER.
The Illegalist Number
sum of the damages done to the capitalist system,
through destruction,
expropriation,
fraud,
or other means,
minus the gross sum of profits through wages and investments earned under that system.
Communist Number
Many so-called comrades,
say they are communists,
yet they live as individuals,
work for wages,
pay their taxes,
and accumulate wealth and investments.
They confuse charity for mutual aid,
they spend time in politics rather than revolutionary action,
and they have,
as far as can be told,
never been to a commune,
or lived in the communist manner.
A communist is one who lives by the principle,
from each according to their ability,
to each according to their needs.
The communist freely chooses this way of life,
and does not force it upon others through government or authority,
but only through the force of truth,
encouragement of self-emancipation,
and vigorous opposition to oppression,
by any necessary means.
To help our comrades understand,
whether they live according to the communist creed,
or whether they are simply capitalists who speak,
in hi-falutin Hegelianisms,
or cryptic Tiqqunisms,
we introduce the COMMUNIST NUMBER.
This number captures the proportion of time spent acting according to communist principles,
living in the communist way among communists,
minus the proportion of time spent acting according to capitalist ones,
living in the capitalist way among capitalists.
The Communist Number
sum of the time spent living in commune,
with one’s comrades,
engaging in activities that suit one’s creative abilities,
and sharing the fruits of those activities,
freely according to the needs of one’s comrades,
minus the time spent living in the capitalist system,
working for wages, paying taxes, rent, politicking, and voting.
The Diogenes Number
The Cynics wisely knew,
that it is not the person who possesses,
the things that they purport to own,
but instead that the possessions own the possessor.
Traveling through the stages of life,
most people aim to accumulate wealth,
so as to acquire the necessities,
conveniences,
and amusements that life can provide.
That wealth,
called their net worth in contemporary parlance,
includes the investments, assets, bonds, loans, cash, property,
trinkets, valuables, heirlooms, and the like,
all the things that can be exchanged for money,
or are tokens of achievement and vanity,
or used to compel the labor of others,
or used to obtain resources in exchange.
All these things that weigh down the person,
require attention, labor, maintenance, time, effort,
are products that consume the whole part of the soul of the producer,
and should be called net weight,
for a better representation of their worth.
The weight of this wealth is heavy upon the shoulders of the fool,
who confuses things that can be had for free,
compassion, care, love, friendship, camaraderie,
adventure, sensation, challenge, and wisdom,
with ordinary things that can be bought so cheaply,
with a few dollars,
or even masses of wealth.
They live nostalgically in the past that never was,
or wait for a future that they will never pluck,
because they must maintain their weights,
lest the magnitude of their oppression diminishes.
To help them better understand,
the weight upon their shoulders,
and the net that prevents,
their attainment of worth,
we introduce the DIOGENES NUMBER.
This number is simply the negative of the net worth,
treating debts as positive if they will be unpaid,
and negative if they will be paid.